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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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Bobby Simmons Under Impression Nets Are Entering The Bobby Simmons Era

EAST RUTHERFORD, NJ—Following his trade from Milwaukee, small forward Bobby Simmons, who averaged 7.6 points per game in 2007–08 and has only started in one game this season, is under the impression that the New Jersey Nets have entered the Bobby Simmons Era. "The sun has set on the Bobby Simmons Era in Milwaukee, and today marks the dawn of a new day here in New Jersey," said Simmons, a journeyman who has played for four teams in his seven-year career. "I'm certain the front offices have begun to make moves to build the team around me. I just hope Vince Carter knows to step down." As of tip-off, Simmons has yet to be assigned a permanent locker.

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