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Bobby Valentine: 'The Red Sox Suck Shit This Year And I Hate All My Players'

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Kevin Durant Wins Gold In Men’s Individual Basketball

RIO DE JANEIRO—Beating out Serbian Nikola Jokic by .87 points in order to claim the all-around title, U.S. forward Kevin Durant won Olympic gold Friday in men’s individual basketball, becoming the first man to win consecutive golds in the competition since Gary Payton at the 1996 and 2000 Games.

Michael Phelps Spots Estranged Father Poseidon In Stands

RIO DE JANEIRO—Immediately recognizing the booming, thunderous voice he hadn’t heard since he was 5 years old as he warmed up ahead of his first heat in the 200-meter individual medley, U.S. Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps reportedly spotted his long-estranged father, Poseidon, God of the Sea, cheering for him Thursday in the stands of the Olympic Aquatics Stadium.
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Bobby Valentine: 'The Red Sox Suck Shit This Year And I Hate All My Players'

BOSTON—Red Sox manager Bobby Valentine announced at a press conference Thursday that the “Red Sox suck total shit this year” and confirmed his hatred of “every fucking player on the weak-ass team.” “Ugh, the Red Sox are such a shitty-ass team and the franchise sucks dick,” said Valentine, adding that Boston is an “incredibly shitty place to live.” “We’ve got a bunch of puss-bags out there. The fans are fucking assholes, and Fenway is a disgusting ballpark that I hope gets torn down.” At press time, Bobby Valentine said he “sucks shit, too.”

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