Bolivia Joins DOPEC

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Terrifying Uniformed Bachelorette Party Storms Local Bar

TACOMA, WA—Bursting into the establishment seemingly out of nowhere and overtaking it within a matter of moments, a terrifying uniformed bachelorette party stormed local pub Casey’s Saloon Friday night, onlookers reported.

Bolivia Joins DOPEC

LA PAZ, BOLIVIA—The South American nation of Bolivia was inducted into the Development Organization of Powder-Exporting Countries Monday. "As the world's third-largest producer of coca, we are pleased to join Colombia, Peru, Mexico, and other proud nations in economic partnership," said Sonia Atala, Bolivia's minister of opiates. "Only by working together can we assure ourselves of continued expansion into foreign markets." The move was opposed by the U.S., DOPEC's largest customer, on the grounds that further price increases and supply restriction would create long lines at dealerships.
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