Christmas is almost here, but it's still not too late to buy gifts for your loved ones. Here are The Onion's tips for last minute holiday shopping.
LA PAZ, BOLIVIAThe South American nation of Bolivia was inducted into the Development Organization of Powder-Exporting Countries Monday. "As the world's third-largest producer of coca, we are pleased to join Colombia, Peru, Mexico, and other proud nations in economic partnership," said Sonia Atala, Bolivia's minister of opiates. "Only by working together can we assure ourselves of continued expansion into foreign markets." The move was opposed by the U.S., DOPEC's largest customer, on the grounds that further price increases and supply restriction would create long lines at dealerships.