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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Book Of Revelations: Secrets Revealed In Other Athletes' Autobiographies

John Daly's new book "Educated Guess" sheds light on the champion golfer's career, including the revelations that he must re-teach himself how to play golf after every stultifying hangover and how he won the 1991 PGA Championship while in a total dissociative fugue state as a Mexican horticulturalist named "Juan". Daly is not the only athlete to make some world-shocking revelations. Here are some other recent autobiographies of note:

  • Yuniesky Betancourt: the Royals shortstop has admitted on more than one occasion that he could hit for a much higher batting average, but is addicted to the jolting thrill of swinging and missing at a pitched ball.
  • Ron Artest: In his new book "Careless Texas Indecency", Artest makes a number of startling admissions, including that has played every game in his career naked save for extremely realistic looking body paint.
  • Barbaro: The iconic horse's recent memoir revealed that the Kentucky Derby winning horse is not only still alive, but capable of writing his own memoir.
  • Dwyane Wade: Details the Heat's star's struggles with addiction to ridiculous plaid bowties and horn-rimmed glasses.
  • Tiger Woods: As a follow-up to John Daly's autobiography, Woods released a book in which he reveals he doesn't remember anything he's done in the past two years so no one else should either.
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