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Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

Infographic: 20 Years Of Netflix

Netflix was founded as an online DVD rental service in 1997 and has since evolved into a subscription-based streaming platform with its own slate of original programming. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the company’s 20-year history.

Musical The Kind With Number About Putting On A Show

TALLAHASSEE, FL—Noting the increasingly animated choreography and behavior of the characters on stage, sources at the Tallahassee Community Theatre reported Friday that this is apparently the kind of musical with a big number about putting on a show.

What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.
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'Boy Meets World' Spin Off To Focus On Difficulties Of Raising Autistic Child

LOS ANGELES—Delighting fans of the popular ’90s sitcom, producers at ABC announced Tuesday that Cory Matthews, Topanga Lawrence, and other beloved characters from Boy Meets World will soon return to the small screen in Girl Meets World, an hour-long drama that centers on the couple as they struggle to raise a severely autistic daughter. “Children of the ’90s rejoice: Cory and Topanga are back and better than ever as the parents of 13-year-old Riley, an autistic teenager whose debilitating disabilities prevent her from fitting in with peers, understanding basic instructions, or showing any affection for her parents whatsoever,” executive producer Michael Jacobs said of the new show, in which the family also copes with long periods of unemployment, their daughter’s medical expenses, and the loss of Pvt. Eric Matthews in the Afghanistan War. “We’re thrilled that Ben Savage and Danielle Fishel will reprise their roles from the original series, as both are skilled performers capable of portraying the deep personal anguish that will follow their characters as they navigate the harsh realities of 21st-century American life.” Jacobs also confirmed that noted character actor William Daniels would return to the series as retired educator George Feeny, who has been admitted to hospice care after developing Alzheimer’s disease.

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