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Mom In Nightgown Mode

APPLETON, WI—Noting that the changeover occurred “right on schedule” after she had finished the dishes and watched TV for an hour or two, family sources confirmed Monday night that local mom Linda Rampling had officially transitioned into nightgown mode.

Car Rolls Up To Stoplight Blasting Google Maps Directions

HOUSTON—Attracting the attention of adjacent motorists and nearby pedestrians who turned their heads to see where the booming noise was coming from, a 2006 Ford Focus is said to have rolled up to a local stoplight Friday blaring Google Maps directions.

34-Year-Old Asks For Big Piece

MADISON, WI—Directing the server to the large square in the corner, local 34-year-old Matthew Hinke asked for a big piece of cake during a workplace birthday party, sources confirmed Tuesday.
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Boyfriend Not To Be Trusted With Netflix Queue

ANN ARBOR, MI—Area resident Megan Sands announced Tuesday that her boyfriend, medical student Nick Kanis, would no longer be permitted to make unsupervised decisions concerning her Netflix queue. "I just checked it this morning, and Nick had added Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo to the list of films we supposedly want to watch," Sands, 25, said. "When I asked him about it, he said, 'Well, didn't you see the first one?' I don't even know how to answer that question." Barring a sudden password change or queue adjustment, Irish Jam, a 2006 comedy starring Eddie Griffin as an L.A. rapper who beguiles an entire village in Ireland, is slated to arrive in the couple's mailbox on Thursday.

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