CLEVELAND—Explaining that they simply didn’t want to have to deal with the immense time commitment and emotional exhaustion, sisters Katie and Ellen Cattell each privately admitted to reporters this week that they were hoping the other sibling would someday be the one to take care of their aging parents.
LOS ANGELES—Basketball fan and board-certified bracketiatrist Arthur Levine, 36, was once again misidentified as a "bracketologist" in casual discussion of the NCAA tournaments Tuesday. "I hate to be a jerk about it, but while it's true I can do anything a bracketologist can do, I spent eight extra years in med school and three in residency so that I could call myself a bracketiatrist," said Levine, who is well-known in bracket circles for the depth and incisive quality of his bracketoanalysis. "Therefore, I would appreciate you calling me by my actual title." Witnesses to Levine's statement agreed that he badly needed the services of a qualified mixologist.