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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.

Manager Can’t Remember Why He Came Out To Mound

HOUSTON—Visibly irritated with himself as he paced around the pitcher’s plate after calling for time during the fourth inning of their game against the Washington Nationals, Houston Astros manager A.J. Hinch could not remember why he came out to the mound in the first place, sources confirmed Thursday.
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Brad Stevens Fired After Losing Second Consecutive NCAA Finals

INDIANAPOLIS—Saying that Butler University "cannot afford to establish a culture of losing," Butler athletic director Barry Collier announced at a press conference Friday that the university was firing under-performing head basketball coach Brad Stevens, effective immediately. "We hired Coach Stevens anticipating that he would lead us to an NCAA title, but year after year he continues to come up short," said Collier, noting that expectations at Butler are high and that losing the finals to four-time champion Duke and three-time champion Connecticut was not acceptable. "We love Brad, and we wish him all the best, but he evidently was not the right fit for this team." Stevens, who is expected to continue his coaching career by accepting one of the many open assistant positions at the mid-major schools, was gracious, saying only that he deeply regretted his inability to match the high standard set by Butler legend Tony Hinkle, who coached the famed 1929 Bulldogs championship team.

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