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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Brady Quinn Frantically Trying To Confirm His Online Girlfriend Not A Hoax

KANSAS CITY—Responding to news that Notre Dame linebacker Manti Te’o’s girlfriend had been invented as part of an elaborate hoax, Chiefs quarterback Brady Quinn reportedly spent Friday trying to verify the existence of his own girlfriend, Veronica Smith, whom he met online. “I’m probably being paranoid, but I figure if this can happen to Manti, it can happen to anyone,” said Quinn, who placed several calls to Smith’s hometown of Sudbury, Ontario in search of someone who knew the 23-year-old. “I mean, I think Veronica is real. We’ve been together for over two years and I got a cyber hand job from her earlier this week. I don’t know—I just want to be sure I’m not getting played.” At press time, Quinn had reportedly relaxed after receiving a text message from Smith assuring him that she existed.

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