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Brady Quinn Frantically Trying To Confirm His Online Girlfriend Not A Hoax

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Kevin Durant Wins Gold In Men’s Individual Basketball

RIO DE JANEIRO—Beating out Serbian Nikola Jokic by .87 points in order to claim the all-around title, U.S. forward Kevin Durant won Olympic gold Friday in men’s individual basketball, becoming the first man to win consecutive golds in the competition since Gary Payton at the 1996 and 2000 Games.

Michael Phelps Spots Estranged Father Poseidon In Stands

RIO DE JANEIRO—Immediately recognizing the booming, thunderous voice he hadn’t heard since he was 5 years old as he warmed up ahead of his first heat in the 200-meter individual medley, U.S. Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps reportedly spotted his long-estranged father, Poseidon, God of the Sea, cheering for him Thursday in the stands of the Olympic Aquatics Stadium.
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Brady Quinn Frantically Trying To Confirm His Online Girlfriend Not A Hoax

KANSAS CITY—Responding to news that Notre Dame linebacker Manti Te’o’s girlfriend had been invented as part of an elaborate hoax, Chiefs quarterback Brady Quinn reportedly spent Friday trying to verify the existence of his own girlfriend, Veronica Smith, whom he met online. “I’m probably being paranoid, but I figure if this can happen to Manti, it can happen to anyone,” said Quinn, who placed several calls to Smith’s hometown of Sudbury, Ontario in search of someone who knew the 23-year-old. “I mean, I think Veronica is real. We’ve been together for over two years and I got a cyber hand job from her earlier this week. I don’t know—I just want to be sure I’m not getting played.” At press time, Quinn had reportedly relaxed after receiving a text message from Smith assuring him that she existed.

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