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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Brady Quinn Studies All Night For Written Portion Of QB Competition

CLEVELAND—Browns quarterback Brady Quinn announced Wednesday that he had been staying up all night to prepare for the written portion of the starting QB competition by learning the history of the Cleveland Browns, studying football vocabulary words, and memorizing all the symbols in the playbook. "I'm really organized and feel equipped to answer the toughest true or false, multiple choice, and fill-in-the-blank questions," said Quinn, who was spotted using a flashlight to study underneath the sheets of his training-camp bed. "I made flash cards, too. I know exactly where to position your hands when receiving the snap. And it took me a little while, but I can totally define a forward pass. I'm gonna ace this thing." Quinn, upon asking coach Eric Mangini the minimum word count for their quarterback essays and whether he would be graded on a curve, was reportedly told that the QB competition was over.

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