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A Primer On The Dark Web

With many crimes now originating on encrypted areas of the internet, many wonder about the so-called dark web and its activities. The Onion provides a primer on this obscured digital space:

Woman Conducting Ongoing Scientific Experiment On Own Skin

DULUTH, MN—Noting her methodic applications of various chemical agents in carefully controlled combinations, sources confirmed Wednesday that local woman Sara Holloway has been carrying out an open-ended scientific experiment on her own skin.
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Brain-Dead Americans Defend Brain-Dead Florida Woman

PINELLAS PARK, FL—The plight of Terri Schiavo, whose brain, according to doctors, has been mostly "non-sentient" and "liquids in suspension" since her heart stopped for five minutes in February of 1990, has come to the attention of Americans whose brains have been mostly sentiment and superstition for most of their lives. "We're staying here to show our support for Terri," said a born-again Christian protester, who, like Schiavo, is capable of virtually no independent cranial activity. "Her husband and those judges can use cold, calculating reason all they like—but we know in our hearts that Terri can hear us." The protesters, who are holding a vigil outside Schiavo's hospice as family members battle in the courts over the removal of her feeding tube, have said that they will take their appeal to sympathetic brain-dead members of Congress if necessary.
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Woman Conducting Ongoing Scientific Experiment On Own Skin

DULUTH, MN—Noting her methodic applications of various chemical agents in carefully controlled combinations, sources confirmed Wednesday that local woman Sara Holloway has been carrying out an open-ended scientific experiment on her own skin.

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