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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Brandon Jacobs Furious At Giants Coaching Staff For Not Giving Him More Yards Per Carry

NEW YORK—Giants running back Brandon Jacobs was reportedly furious with coaches following a team meeting Tuesday, loudly expressing his displeasure and demanding more yards per carry. “I work really hard at practice and study the playbook, but then they constantly have me getting tackled by the first defensive player I make contact with,” said Jacobs, complaining that the coaches rarely reward his labor with a touchdown-scoring run. “They’re giving [Ahmad] Bradshaw more yards per carry than me. They like him better. I don’t get it. Seems like I get all the negative rushes or the ones for really short yardage. How is this supposed to make me feel appreciated?” Backup quarterback David Carr expressed empathy for Jacobs, claiming the team has repeatedly ignored his requests for better throwing mechanics, a stronger arm, and more accurate passes.

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