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Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Strongside/Weakside: Ezekiel Elliott

After becoming only the third player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in his first nine games, Dallas Cowboys rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott is an early candidate for league MVP. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.

Strongside/Weakside: Kris Bryant

By leading the Chicago Cubs in hits and home runs en route to their second straight playoff appearance, Kris Bryant has placed himself in the running for the National League MVP. Is he any good?

Rest Of Nation To Penn State: ‘Something Is Very Wrong With All Of You’

WASHINGTON—Stating they felt deeply unnerved by the community’s unwavering and impassioned defense of a football program and administration that enabled child sexual abuse over the course of several decades, the rest of the country informed Penn State University Friday that there is clearly something very wrong with all of them.

Strongside/Weakside: Lamar Jackson

After passing for eight touchdowns and rushing for another 10 in just the first three weeks of the season, Louisville Cardinals sophomore quarterback Lamar Jackson has quickly become the frontrunner to win the Heisman Trophy. Is he any good?
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Brandon Jacobs Furious At Giants Coaching Staff For Not Giving Him More Yards Per Carry

NEW YORK—Giants running back Brandon Jacobs was reportedly furious with coaches following a team meeting Tuesday, loudly expressing his displeasure and demanding more yards per carry. “I work really hard at practice and study the playbook, but then they constantly have me getting tackled by the first defensive player I make contact with,” said Jacobs, complaining that the coaches rarely reward his labor with a touchdown-scoring run. “They’re giving [Ahmad] Bradshaw more yards per carry than me. They like him better. I don’t get it. Seems like I get all the negative rushes or the ones for really short yardage. How is this supposed to make me feel appreciated?” Backup quarterback David Carr expressed empathy for Jacobs, claiming the team has repeatedly ignored his requests for better throwing mechanics, a stronger arm, and more accurate passes.

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