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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Brawl Clears Benches Of Everyone But J.D. Drew

ANAHEIM, CA—Bobby Abreu's angry reaction to a purpose pitch from Boston ace Josh Beckett triggered an ugly fracas Sunday that saw both teams' benches and bullpens cleared, with the notable exception of Red Sox outfielder J.D. Drew. "They looked like they had it under control; don't want too many cooks in the kitchen," said Drew, who could be seen yawning and flicking sunflower seeds into a nearby water cup during the fight. "I thought about getting in there for a second, but then I thought, nah. It didn't really directly concern me. I mean, yeah, they shoved a bunch of my teammates, but it's not like they were gonna die or anything. If someone was in mortal danger, I'd step in there. Yeah, I'd probably do that." Drew then turned his attention to perusing his contract for opt-out clauses.

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