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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Braylon Edwards Confident He Could Fly If He Tried Hard Enough

PITTSBURGH—After two impressive wins in Indianapolis and New England, confident New York Jets wide receiver Braylon Edwards told reporters Friday that under the right conditions, he could probably take off from the ground and fly. "I'm not saying it would be easy, but I'm pretty fast," said Edwards, who stretched his arms out to demonstrate how, for the most part, he would glide and use an occasional arm flap to keep aloft. "The problem is football fields are only 100 yards, and I would need more takeoff room than that. But if it's a downward slope, and I get the right wind behind me, I think I could probably make it to Florida." Edwards concluded the press conference by adding, "Nrrrrrrrrrwwwww I'm an airplane, pshew pshew pshew."

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