adBlockCheck

Braylon Edwards Confident He Could Fly If He Tried Hard Enough

Top Headlines

Sports

How The IOC Plans To Address Doping

In light of its recent decision not to bar Russian athletes from competing in Rio despite their use of performance-enhancing drugs, the International Olympic Committee is working to establish more effective protocols to keep the Games drug-free. Here are some ways the IOC plans to address doping:
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Braylon Edwards Confident He Could Fly If He Tried Hard Enough

PITTSBURGH—After two impressive wins in Indianapolis and New England, confident New York Jets wide receiver Braylon Edwards told reporters Friday that under the right conditions, he could probably take off from the ground and fly. "I'm not saying it would be easy, but I'm pretty fast," said Edwards, who stretched his arms out to demonstrate how, for the most part, he would glide and use an occasional arm flap to keep aloft. "The problem is football fields are only 100 yards, and I would need more takeoff room than that. But if it's a downward slope, and I get the right wind behind me, I think I could probably make it to Florida." Edwards concluded the press conference by adding, "Nrrrrrrrrrwwwww I'm an airplane, pshew pshew pshew."

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close