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Mom In Nightgown Mode

APPLETON, WI—Noting that the changeover occurred “right on schedule” after she had finished the dishes and watched TV for an hour or two, family sources confirmed Monday night that local mom Linda Rampling had officially transitioned into nightgown mode.

Car Rolls Up To Stoplight Blasting Google Maps Directions

HOUSTON—Attracting the attention of adjacent motorists and nearby pedestrians who turned their heads to see where the booming noise was coming from, a 2006 Ford Focus is said to have rolled up to a local stoplight Friday blaring Google Maps directions.

34-Year-Old Asks For Big Piece

MADISON, WI—Directing the server to the large square in the corner, local 34-year-old Matthew Hinke asked for a big piece of cake during a workplace birthday party, sources confirmed Tuesday.
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Breakfast In Bed Served To Mom Who Just Got Eaten Out

PEORIA, IL—While celebrating Mother’s Day today, local woman and mother of two Ellen Taylor, 38, was reportedly served breakfast in bed by her children mere minutes after being voraciously eaten out by her husband. “Ooh, what a treat!” said Taylor while receiving a tray of scrambled eggs, pancakes, and orange juice, sitting up on the same damp sheets upon which she had moments earlier moaned in pleasure as her husband’s firm tongue rapidly contorted in and around her slick vagina. “Strawberry pancakes! My favorite!” Upon finishing her Mother’s Day breakfast, Taylor reportedly urged her children to go downstairs and “let Mommy sleep a little longer.”

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