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Trump Casually Informs Pence He Going To Make One Or Two Appearances During Speech

CLEVELAND—Pulling his running mate aside backstage at the Republican National Convention just minutes before the Indiana governor was scheduled to formally accept the party’s vice presidential nomination, GOP candidate Donald Trump casually informed Mike Pence that he would probably make one or two quick appearances during the Midwestern conservative’s headlining speech tonight.

‘Heed My Tragic Story Well, Friends, For You Could Just As Easily Be Me,’ Says Chris Christie In Haunting RNC Speech

CLEVELAND—A thrall sweeping over the assembled GOP officials and party members Tuesday as he recounted his chilling tale of hubris, New Jersey governor Chris Christie reportedly entreated those at the Republican National Convention to consider the sad story of his own dizzying rise and ignominious fall, offering a bitter warning to all in attendance that his terrible fate could befall any one of them.
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Breaking: Congressmen Walking Somewhere

Groups Of 2, Sometimes 3 Seen Heading Down Hallways

WASHINGTON—Sources from inside the U.S. Capitol are reporting that random groups of congressmen are currently walking through hallways, corridors, and foyers toward some location, often in groups of two, three, or four. “Though their destination remains as yet unclear, the legislators have been seen walking up and down staircases, and have also been observed gesticulating with both their right and left arms,” Beltway observers told reporters, adding that an assortment of congressional aides are typically trailing behind the various groups. “Some clusters of congressmen are talking and joking with one another. Others are confidently striding through the Capitol. Occasionally they will lean in to one another and whisper something out of earshot of reporters and then slyly smile. We still don’t know where they are going, though.” At press time, Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX) was the only elected official seen walking by himself, with no one within 30 feet of him.

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