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BREAKING: Do You Think We’re Doing A Good Job?

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Rest Of Nation To Penn State: ‘Something Is Very Wrong With All Of You’

WASHINGTON—Stating they felt deeply unnerved by the community’s unwavering and impassioned defense of a football program and administration that enabled child sexual abuse over the course of several decades, the rest of the country informed Penn State University Friday that there is clearly something very wrong with all of them.

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BREAKING: Do You Think We’re Doing A Good Job?

WATERTOWN, MA—Following earlier updates on the manhunt for Boston Marathon bombing suspect Dzhokar A. Tsarnaev, sources were just wondering if, maybe, you think—by repeatedly interrupting with breaking news that has zero substance—we’re doing a good job right now. Multiple reports have confirmed that sources really want to know—and be totally, 100 percent honest here, sources stressed—how you think we’re stacking up compared to the coverage of other news organizations. Good? Not good? About average? At press time, breaking reports have indicated that, at the least, we’re probably doing an okay job, right?

Continuing coverage of the Boston Marathon bombings

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