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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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BREAKING: Producers Assume Shannon Sharpe Doing Highlights Right Now

NEW YORK—Several new reports indicate CBS producers are just assuming that NFL Today analyst Shannon Sharpe is doing game highlights right now, speculating that the broadcaster’s incoherent rambling might be related to one of the top plays from Sunday. “Uh, he’s mumbling about something, but I don’t know what the hell he’s babbling about,” said producer Drew Kaliski, who was visibly weary while struggling to follow along with Sharpe’s unfathomable commentary. “I think I heard ‘Luck’ in there somewhere. It doesn’t matter; just throw a touchdown on the screen.” At press time, CBS producers reportedly determined that Sharpe was probably never going to shut up.

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