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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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BREAKING: Still Nothing

WATERTOWN, MA—Sources can now confirm that there is still nothing new to report on the search for Boston Marathon bombing suspect Dzhokar A. Tsarnaev. Those with knowledge of the situation are currently telling reporters that nothing has changed and there are no new developments. Reports have confirmed, however, that instead of saying one brother has died and the other is on the run, sources will instead switch that information around to make it sound different than previous reports, thus making it seem like new information is being added. Sources are now saying that one brother is on the run and the other has been shot and killed.

Continuing coverage of the Boston Marathon bombings

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