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‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

Ringo Starr Announces 26th Beatles Album With New Backing Band

‘Moonbeam Sunday’ Slated For Release On June 16

LONDON—Excitedly informing fans that the iconic pop group was back with more original music, Ringo Starr announced Tuesday that on June 16 he would be releasing a 26th Beatles album titled ‘Moonbeam Sunday’ with an all-new backing band.
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BREAKING: Thriller Writer Jeffery Deaver At Top Of His Game

NEW YORK—Late-breaking reports from the literary community confirmed just moments ago that veteran thriller writer and No. 1 bestselling author Jeffery Deaver has done it again. “POW! Deaver is back and better than ever with a new heart-stopping juggernaut of a book that showcases the 31-time novelist at the peak of his powers,” a publishing representative confirmed to reporters this morning, adding that this latest and best installment in the author’s Lincoln Rhyme series is “not to be missed.” “With every twist and turn, The Kill Room cements Deaver’s status as the undisputed master of the modern spy thriller. The one-two punch of this cunningly wrought, crackerjack page-turner will keep you guessing until the very end.” An update received at press time confirmed that if the book’s chilling conclusion doesn’t make your pulse pound, you probably don’t have one.

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