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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
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Breakroom Tension At All-Time High Following Mug Dispute

PHOENIX—Diplomatic measures have failed to ease breakroom tension following Monday's latest mug dispute between Southwest DataTech employees Iris Cole and Steve Mees. "An already tense atmosphere only deteriorated when Iris caught Steve using her mug yet again," an unnamed accounting-department source said. Cole, whose mug features a cartoon bear sleeping next to a sign reading, 'Wake Me When It's Friday!," rejected Mees' excuse that his mug looks similar to hers.

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