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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Breakroom Tension At All-Time High Following Mug Dispute

PHOENIX—Diplomatic measures have failed to ease breakroom tension following Monday's latest mug dispute between Southwest DataTech employees Iris Cole and Steve Mees. "An already tense atmosphere only deteriorated when Iris caught Steve using her mug yet again," an unnamed accounting-department source said. Cole, whose mug features a cartoon bear sleeping next to a sign reading, 'Wake Me When It's Friday!," rejected Mees' excuse that his mug looks similar to hers.

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