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Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

Infographic: 20 Years Of Netflix

Netflix was founded as an online DVD rental service in 1997 and has since evolved into a subscription-based streaming platform with its own slate of original programming. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the company’s 20-year history.

Musical The Kind With Number About Putting On A Show

TALLAHASSEE, FL—Noting the increasingly animated choreography and behavior of the characters on stage, sources at the Tallahassee Community Theatre reported Friday that this is apparently the kind of musical with a big number about putting on a show.

What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.
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Brendan Fraser To Star In New Pre-Movie Trivia Question

HOLLYWOOD, CA—According to a statement published in Variety Tuesday, Mummy star Brendan Fraser has signed on to appear in a new trivia question running before Friday’s 4:50 showing of Puss In Boots. "The moment I read the question, I called my agent and told him I had to be in this thing,"” Fraser said in reference to the multiple-choice quiz asking which actor made his feature debut in the 1988 film Mystic Pizza. "Getting to see my name on the screen alongside such talents as Matt Damon and Greg Kinnear was simply a dream come true." Fraser added that if his appearance as answer "C" was well-received by audiences, he would not rule out future opportunities to have the letters of his name scrambled in a word puzzle.

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