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‘The Princess Bride’ By The Numbers

‘The Princess Bride’ was released 30 years ago today, and it has since become a classic beloved by people of all ages. ‘The Onion’ looks back at ‘The Princess Bride’ 30 years later.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.
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Brendan Fraser To Star In New Pre-Movie Trivia Question

HOLLYWOOD, CA—According to a statement published in Variety Tuesday, Mummy star Brendan Fraser has signed on to appear in a new trivia question running before Friday’s 4:50 showing of Puss In Boots. "The moment I read the question, I called my agent and told him I had to be in this thing,"” Fraser said in reference to the multiple-choice quiz asking which actor made his feature debut in the 1988 film Mystic Pizza. "Getting to see my name on the screen alongside such talents as Matt Damon and Greg Kinnear was simply a dream come true." Fraser added that if his appearance as answer "C" was well-received by audiences, he would not rule out future opportunities to have the letters of his name scrambled in a word puzzle.

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