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How Movies Receive Their Ratings

Many Americans use the MPAA’s formalized rating system as a guide for which films to see. The Onion provides a step-by-step view into how these ratings are chosen:

‘Winnie-The-Pooh’ Turns 90

Winnie-The-Pooh, the A.A. Milne series featuring a stuffed bear and his toy animal friends, debuted 90 years ago this week. Here are some milestones from the franchise’s nearly century-long run:

50 Years Of ‘Star Trek’

Star Trek, the science-fiction show about the crew of the starship Enterprise, premiered 50 years ago today on NBC, spawning a cult following and decades of spin-offs. Here are some milestones from the franchise’s 50-year history

How Big-Budget Movies Flop

Despite the recent box-office failures of Exodus, Ben-Hur, and Gods Of Egypt, studios continue to fund big-budget movies they hope will achieve blockbuster success. The Onion provides a step-by-step breakdown of how one of these movies becomes a flop:

Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 30, 2016

ARIES: Sometimes in life, you just need to stop whatever it is you’re doing and take a step back. Actually, maybe it’s two steps back. Yeah, that’s good. Keep going. The stars will let you know when you’re far enough.

‘Rugrats’ Turns 25

This August marks the 25th anniversary of the premiere of Rugrats, the beloved Nickelodeon cartoon about intrepid baby Tommy Pickles and his group of toddler friends. Here are some milestones from the show’s nine-season run

Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 9, 2016

ARIES: Your life’s story will soon play out in front of movie theater audiences across the country, though it’ll only last about 30 seconds and advertise free soft drink refills in the main lobby.

Director Has Clear Vision Of How Studio Will Destroy Movie

LOS ANGELES—Saying he can already picture exactly what the finished cut will look like on the big screen, Hollywood film director Paul Stanton told reporters Wednesday he has a clear vision of how studio executives will totally destroy his upcoming movie.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 14, 2016

ARIES: Once the laughter dies down, the party favors are put away, and the monkeys led back inside their cages, you’ll finally be given a chance to explain your side of the story.

Lost Jack London Manuscript, ‘The Doggy,’ Found

RYE, NY—Workers inventorying the estate of a recently deceased Westchester County art dealer earlier this month reportedly stumbled upon a draft of a previously unknown Jack London novel titled The Doggy, and the work is already being hailed by many within the literary world as a masterpiece.

Guide To The Characters Of ‘The Force Awakens’

The highly anticipated seventh episode in the ‘Star Wars’ series, ‘The Force Awakens,’ which will be released December 18, will feature several returning characters as well as a host of new ones. Here is a guide to the characters of ‘Star Wars: The Force Awakens.’

Robert De Niro Stunned To Learn Of Man Who Can Quote ‘Goodfellas’

‘Bring Him To Me,’ Actor Demands

NEW YORK—Immediately halting production on his latest project after hearing of the incredible talent, legendary actor Robert De Niro was reportedly stunned to learn Wednesday that Bayonne, NJ resident Eric Sullivan, 33, can quote the critically acclaimed 1990 Martin Scorsese film Goodfellas at length.

Timeline Of The James Bond Series

This week marks the release of the 24th film in the James Bond franchise, Spectre, featuring Daniel Craig in his fourth appearance as the British secret agent. Here are some notable moments from the film series’s 53-year history
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Entertainment

Brett Butler Now Nation's Most Stable Female Celebrity

LOS ANGELES—With Hollywood starlets facing new troubles this year—Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie serving jail time, Lindsay Lohan entering rehab, and Britney Spears losing custody of her children due to substance abuse and reckless behavior—former Grace Under Fire star and pill-popping, chain-smoking, twice-divorced drunk driver Brett Butler has become America's de facto sweetheart.

Butler, a relative pillar of normalcy.

"Not once in 2007 was Brett Butler arrested, seen exposing her genitals in public, or featured drunk and high on the cover of a tabloid magazine," celebrity insider Dianne Newton said. "In fact, Brett Butler has not been photographed at all since 1999."

"Thank you, Ms. Butler," Newton added. "Finally, there is someone whom young girls can truly look up to as a role model."

Though Butler has had her share of problems in the past, her publicist, Cindy Brenneman, proudly noted that Butler has been sober for three years, no longer abuses sleeping pills, and rarely leaves her house.

"Brett is doing relatively great," Brenneman said. "She has shown incredible class and integrity recently by not getting wildly intoxicated and climbing behind the wheel of a car without a license, abusing narcotics to the point that she is putting her own children's lives in danger, sobbing uncontrollably on live television about a puppy, or killing a man in cold blood, like Home Improvement's Patricia Richardson did in July."

Despite her current state, however, experts predict that the exposure Butler will receive from being thrust once again into the national spotlight will likely send her spiraling into a drug-fueled depression and will be capped by a fatal overdose of painkillers in her Miami hotel room early next year.

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