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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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Brett Favre Avenges Storied 16-Year Career With Packers

GREEN BAY, WI—Brett Favre beat the Green Bay Packers on Sunday for the second time this season, his decisive 38-26 victory exacting some small measure of revenge for the adulation and hero worship heaped upon him by the city of Green Bay and the entire state of Wisconsin for the better part of two decades. "It feels good to finally get retribution from the team that gave me my first chance to start, believed in me despite the pitfalls of my early career, and ensured I will be a first-ballot Hall of Famer," Favre said at a postgame press conference. "And to do it in front of those fans, who unconditionally loved me through thick and thin while I struggled with a Vicodin addiction and disastrous interceptions, just made it that much sweeter. Sixteen long years of devotion, and they're finally getting what they deserve." Favre mentioned that when he does retire, he is looking forward to "really sticking it" to the wife and daughters whose loving presence has been the one constant during his playing career.

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