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Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.
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Brett Favre Just Chucks Reputation Up There

NEW YORK—Just weeks after safely handing off his legacy to historians and retiring as one of the most beloved sports figures in recent memory, Packer legend Brett Favre decided to make one last desperate heave for glory by signing with the New York Jets. "If I've learned one thing in my life, it's that sometimes you just have to put everything you got into one last desperate hurl for it all," Favre said after agreeing to a one year, $12 million Hail Mary contract. "I just thought I'd take everything I've come to represent, whip it as far and as fast as I could, and see who came down with it." Favre did not comment on whether or not he considered signing with the Jets to be a successful completion of his career or life.

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