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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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  • Entire Room Mentally Shaving Man's Facial Hair

    WHITE PLAINS, NY—Stunned and visibly offended by the sheer volume of facial hair visible before them, every single customer at local diner Hubbard's this morning was reportedly eyeing 28-year-old fellow patron David Kellerman and mentally shaving of...

Brett Favre Just Chucks Reputation Up There

NEW YORK—Just weeks after safely handing off his legacy to historians and retiring as one of the most beloved sports figures in recent memory, Packer legend Brett Favre decided to make one last desperate heave for glory by signing with the New York Jets. "If I've learned one thing in my life, it's that sometimes you just have to put everything you got into one last desperate hurl for it all," Favre said after agreeing to a one year, $12 million Hail Mary contract. "I just thought I'd take everything I've come to represent, whip it as far and as fast as I could, and see who came down with it." Favre did not comment on whether or not he considered signing with the Jets to be a successful completion of his career or life.

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