adBlockCheck

Sports

MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
End Of Section
  • More News

Brett Favre's Retirement Decision To Disappoint Fans Either Way

GREEN BAY, WI—Although star Packers quarterback Brett Favre has yet to actually announce whether he will play another season in the NFL, any decision he makes will be certain to disappoint football fans in some way. "I don't know what he'll do, but it's a real shame either way about Favre—I mean, on one hand, he's so well-loved, he's an almost-certain Hall of Famer, he's the prototypical gunslinger quarterback that you love to watch, and he's only 25 touchdown passes away from breaking Marino's all-time record," Stoughton, WI bar owner and football fan Patrick Kettle said Tuesday following Favre's confession that he was leaning toward retirement. "Then again, the Packers have to learn to get by without him someday, and the fans don't want to see him decline right before their eyes. Plus, come on—he's only 22 interceptions away from breaking George Blanda's all-time record." Football fans nationwide say they intend to both celebrate their good fortune and mourn the end of an era no matter what Favre ultimately decides.

More from this section

MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close