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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Brett Myers Atones For Punching Wife With Solid Seven-Inning Outing

SAN FRANCISCO—Three weeks after hitting his wife on a Boston street, Phillies pitcher Brett Myers made up for the costly miscue by coming back strong and tossing seven quality innings en route to a 6-2 victory over the Giants Sunday. "When you let your emotions get the best of you and make a silly error like Brett did when he repeatedly struck his wife in the face, the only way to atone for it is to get right back on the baseball field, put that past performance behind you, and pitch deep into an important game while maintaining consistent velocity and pinpoint control," manager Charlie Manuel said. "This outing is exactly what Bretty needed to get the fans to stop thinking about him as someone who physically abuses his spouse." Philadelphia fans and media, who had earlier called for a public apology from Myers, have dropped this demand in light of Myers' impressive total of seven strikeouts.

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