adBlockCheck

Sports

Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
End Of Section
  • More News

Brewers Worried Ryan Braun Suspension Might Put Season In Jeopardy

MILWAUKEE—Following news that Milwaukee Brewers outfielder Ryan Braun will sit out the rest of 2013 due to his alleged involvement with performance-enhancing drug supplier Biogenesis, the power hitter's teammates told reporters Tuesday that they were concerned his suspension could put the remainder of the 41-57 ball club’s season in jeopardy. “This team is built around Ryan, and I can already tell that we’re going to face an uphill battle without him,” said starting second baseman Rickie Weeks, emphasizing that he “just couldn't imagine” the team that currently possesses the second-worst record in the National League lasting very long in the postseason without the five-time All-Star. “Obviously, there’s a lot of talent in this clubhouse, but the fact is that everything we’ve been able to do so far this season has been because of Ryan. No doubt about it, we’re in trouble. I don’t know how we could play in the World Series without him.” When reached for comment, Braun told reporters that he believed his team would be able to perform just as well without him.

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close