Brian Urlacher Retires With Plenty Of Injuries Left In The Tank

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Vol 49 Issue 21

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WASHINGTON—According to sources, the long Memorial Day weekend in honor of Monday’s federal holiday is practically over already, with the hours left in said weekend dwindling away at an increasingly rapid pace even as you read this news articl...

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0 AD–September 11, 2001: Everything fine September 11, 2001: September 11, 2001 September 12, 2001: A determined George W. Bush responds to the Sept. 11 attacks by swiftly promising two failed wars, a nearly 10-year manhunt for...
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Brian Urlacher Retires With Plenty Of Injuries Left In The Tank

CHICAGO—Iconic Bears middle linebacker Brian Urlacher officially announced his retirement from the NFL Wednesday, despite acknowledging that he still had “a lot of injuries left in the tank.” “I’ve decided that now is the time to end my playing career, even though I’m very confident that I could continue suffering injuries at a high level for a couple more seasons,” Urlacher wrote in a statement to reporters, adding that his decision largely hinged on the fact that he could no longer get hurt playing for the Bears. “I’m still very much capable of going out there and straining my hamstrings, fracturing the bones in my arms, and tearing my knee ligaments. And there’s no doubt in my mind that I could be listed as questionable for 16 games next season, but after 13 years in the league, my choice to retire is final.” Urlacher went on to thank the Bears organization and fans, claiming that he will “never forget” the time he spent on the team’s sidelines last season.

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