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Who's Fucking: Zack and Evan

Coworkers Zack and Evan talk about moving past first impressions, stepping out of your comfort zone, and understanding what it really means to fuck someone.

Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.

Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.
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Bribery Suspected After 2022 World Cup Moved To Richard Branson’s Backyard

ZURICH, SWITZERLAND—With continued controversy surrounding the awarding of the 2022 World Cup, fresh reports of bribery and corruption surfaced Friday after it was revealed that the tournament had been moved from original host country Qatar to the backyard of billionaire business mogul Richard Branson. “The decision to move the World Cup was made solely in the best interests of the sport, and these recent accusations of wrongdoing are simply not true,” FIFA president Sepp Blatter said in response to the allegations, staunchly denying claims that officials from soccer’s international governing body received millions of dollars in kickbacks to host the tournament on Branson’s 2.7-million-square-foot backyard in the remote British Virgin Islands. “In the 84-year history of this competition, the World Cup has never been held on the personal property of Richard Branson, and it will do wonders for growing the sport of football in that region of the world. Sadly, these are all baseless reports intended merely to disrupt our plan to bring the World Cup to new and exciting places.” Before departing the press conference, Blatter then quickly added that the tournament will also be renamed the Branson Cup and broadcast exclusively aboard Virgin Atlantic aircraft.

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Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.

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