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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Bribery Suspected After 2022 World Cup Moved To Richard Branson’s Backyard

ZURICH, SWITZERLAND—With continued controversy surrounding the awarding of the 2022 World Cup, fresh reports of bribery and corruption surfaced Friday after it was revealed that the tournament had been moved from original host country Qatar to the backyard of billionaire business mogul Richard Branson. “The decision to move the World Cup was made solely in the best interests of the sport, and these recent accusations of wrongdoing are simply not true,” FIFA president Sepp Blatter said in response to the allegations, staunchly denying claims that officials from soccer’s international governing body received millions of dollars in kickbacks to host the tournament on Branson’s 2.7-million-square-foot backyard in the remote British Virgin Islands. “In the 84-year history of this competition, the World Cup has never been held on the personal property of Richard Branson, and it will do wonders for growing the sport of football in that region of the world. Sadly, these are all baseless reports intended merely to disrupt our plan to bring the World Cup to new and exciting places.” Before departing the press conference, Blatter then quickly added that the tournament will also be renamed the Branson Cup and broadcast exclusively aboard Virgin Atlantic aircraft.

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