adBlockCheck

Brilliant, Innovative CEO Just Wrote Words 'Social Media' On Whiteboard And Underlined It

Top Headlines

Recent News

Leaked Documents Reveal Studio Executives Knew About ‘Gods Of Egypt’ Before It Released Onto Public

SANTA MONICA, CA—Suggesting that the disastrous events of three months ago could have been averted, federal investigators stated Wednesday that a trove of leaked documents confirmed high-ranking studio executives had full knowledge of Gods Of Egypt long before the film was released onto unsuspecting Americans.Investigators described those who allowed such a screenplay to be carried out as “extremely sick and heartless individuals.”

Books Vs. E-Readers

Though e-readers have increasingly supplanted books in the digital age, many bibliophiles defend the importance of physical texts. Here is a side-by-side comparison of physical books and e-books

The Arguments For And Against Bernie Sanders Staying In The Race

Bernie Sanders is ramping up his efforts in the presidential race despite long odds, while sharpening his criticisms of a Democratic Party increasingly focused on the general election with Hillary Clinton as their presumptive nominee. Here are the arguments for and against Sanders staying in the race

Report: Nobody Fucking Cares

NEW YORK—According to a brief but conclusive report released Monday, nobody fucking cares. “Doesn’t fucking matter,” read the report in part, which went on to inform readers that no one gives two shits, so fuck it.

Mom Sleeps In Past Sunrise

WOBURN, MA―Noting that she had somehow managed to sleep through both the dawn chorus of birds and her neighborhood’s early morning garbage pickup, 53-year-old local mother Laura Maloney confirmed that she did not awaken Monday until after the sun had risen.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Brilliant, Innovative CEO Just Wrote Words 'Social Media' On Whiteboard And Underlined It

BOSTON—During this morning's marketing meeting at Dwyer Publishing, Inc., CEO Eric McCulloch astounded and amazed his staff by writing the phrase "Social Media" on a whiteboard in black pen and underlining it. According to sources, McCulloch's virtuoso whiteboard performance has forever rendered traditional advertising pointless and obsolete, and has solved all of Dwyer Publishing's marketing needs in one fell swoop. To the utter astonishment of all in attendance, the veritable titan of industry then pointed at the words "Social Media" on the whiteboard and proclaimed "this is the future." "In my entire career, I have never before witnessed with my own two eyes such a dazzling—nay, electrifying—display of cunning insight and business acumen," product manager Jessica Berg told reporters of the visionary and "utterly game-changing" display of word writing and underlining. "The fact that he thought of the words 'Social Media' to begin with is incredibly impressive and forward thinking, but then he actually managed to take it two steps further by not only writing those words in block letters on a whiteboard but—get this—drawing a straight line underneath the words. I mean, the guy's a genius. I guess that's why they pay him the big bucks."

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close