Brilliant, Innovative CEO Just Wrote Words 'Social Media' On Whiteboard And Underlined It

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Content From 2013-07-26

Jane Austen To Appear On British 10-Pound Bill

The celebrated British romantic fiction author Jane Austen, who famously penned Pride and Prejudice and Sense and Sensibility, will appear on Great Britain’s new 10-pound note beginning around 2017, replacing Charles Darwin.

Calling People Fat Spurs Weight Gain

According to a new study, the discrimination that people face regarding their weight, including stigmatizing, teasing, and name-calling, does not motivate them to shed pounds, and instead increases their risk of obesity later, as many engage in overeating...

Biden Has Guy Named Worm Sit In For Him At Cabinet Meeting

WASHINGTON—Claiming that he had “a major shitstorm” he had to deal with, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly had a guy named Worm sit in for him at a cabinet meeting Thursday, assuring senior officials in the administration that his budd...

Print Dead At 1,803

NEW YORK—Sources close to print, the method of applying ink to paper in order to convey information to a mass audience, have confirmed that the declining medium passed away early Thursday morning. The influential means of communication was 1,803. Pr...

Amanda Bynes Hospitalized After Setting Fire

Authorities in California ordered the involuntary psychiatric hospitalization of embattled 27-year-old former actress Amanda Bynes after she allegedly started a fire in a stranger’s driveway, the latest in a string of bizarre behavior.

Jason Noggoh

Jason Noggoh slid headfirst down the slippery slope into dog marriage.

Anthony Weiner Continued Sexting After Resignation

New York City mayoral candidate Anthony Weiner said he would not drop out of the race after evidence surfaced that he again sent images of his genitals and engaged in lewd chats with a young woman, purportedly under the pseudonym “Carlos Danger....

Frustrated Novelist No Good At Describing Hands

GLOUCESTER, MA—Admitting that he has “absolutely no idea how other authors do it,” novelist Edward Milligan, 46, told reporters Tuesday that he’s just no good at all when it comes to describing people’s hands in his writing. ...

Doctors Clear RGIII’s Knee For Light Tearing

RICHMOND, VA—Calling it an encouraging sign for the 23-year-old, Redskins team doctors have reportedly cleared quarterback Robert Griffin III’s knee to resume light tearing this week, team sources confirmed Wednesday.

Area Man Treats Girlfriend To Sumptuous 20-Second Massage

BETHEL PARK, PA—In an unexpected outpouring of generosity and affection, local man Adam MacMillan spent 20 seconds Tuesday evening treating Melanie Traynor, his girlfriend of three years, to a luxurious back and neck massage on the couple’s co...
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Brilliant, Innovative CEO Just Wrote Words 'Social Media' On Whiteboard And Underlined It

BOSTON—During this morning's marketing meeting at Dwyer Publishing, Inc., CEO Eric McCulloch astounded and amazed his staff by writing the phrase "Social Media" on a whiteboard in black pen and underlining it. According to sources, McCulloch's virtuoso whiteboard performance has forever rendered traditional advertising pointless and obsolete, and has solved all of Dwyer Publishing's marketing needs in one fell swoop. To the utter astonishment of all in attendance, the veritable titan of industry then pointed at the words "Social Media" on the whiteboard and proclaimed "this is the future." "In my entire career, I have never before witnessed with my own two eyes such a dazzling—nay, electrifying—display of cunning insight and business acumen," product manager Jessica Berg told reporters of the visionary and "utterly game-changing" display of word writing and underlining. "The fact that he thought of the words 'Social Media' to begin with is incredibly impressive and forward thinking, but then he actually managed to take it two steps further by not only writing those words in block letters on a whiteboard but—get this—drawing a straight line underneath the words. I mean, the guy's a genius. I guess that's why they pay him the big bucks."

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