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Politics

Bill O’Reilly Tearfully Packs Up Framed Up-Skirt Photos From Desk

NEW YORK—Smiling wistfully as he gazed at the cherished mementos that had sat on his desk for much of the past 20 years, former Fox News commentator Bill O’Reilly reportedly grew teary-eyed Thursday as he packed up the framed up-skirt photos from his work space following his termination by the cable channel.

Donald Trump Jr. Takes Son On Hunting Trip In National Zoo

WASHINGTON—In what he referred to as an important rite of passage for his 8-year-old son, Donald John III, Donald Trump Jr. took his eldest boy to the Smithsonian National Zoological Park for his first-ever hunting trip, sources said Wednesday.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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Bristol Palin Interview Accidentally Reveals Mother's 15 Abortions

WASILLA, AK—Sarah Palin's political team was forced to do emergency damage control Monday after the former Alaska governor's daughter Bristol accidentally divulged on live television that her mother has undergone at least 15 abortions over the past 30 years. "She's always telling me how special I am, especially considering the five or six babies she aborted before I was born," Palin, 20, said during a CNN interview in which she was asked if she thought her mother would make a good president. "Then of course there were the twins she aborted shortly after having me, another four abortions after Willow somehow survived hers—but anyway, she's a wonderful mom. She just gets pregnant a lot and doesn't always want to have the baby." Palin also commended her mother's strength in carrying three babies with Down syndrome to term, and then even choosing not to give Trig up for adoption like the others.

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