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British Royal Family Sadly Announces Death Of Prince Charming

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‘People Are Inherently Good,’ World Halfheartedly Mutters

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PARIS—After retrieving the eyesore from amid a clutter of unused display cases and movable stanchions in the back of the facility’s basement where it had been stowed ever since the museum received it, curators at the Louvre hurried to display an ugly Vincent van Gogh painting before the artwork’s donor made a surprise visit to the museum Friday.

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British Royal Family Sadly Announces Death Of Prince Charming

LONDON—Prince Charming, 32, died from heart failure on Tuesday, November 26, 2013 at St. Mary’s Hospital, according to an official statement released by the British Royal Family. “His Royal Highness, Prince Charming of York, passed away this morning at approximately 9:33 GMT surrounded by close family and friends,” spokesperson Margaret Embridge solemnly told reporters, adding that a vigil for the beloved son of England would be held this Sunday following a private funeral outside his ancestral home in Wolsingham. “He will be remembered for his unrivaled handsomeness, courage, gallantry, flowing dark hair, dashing demeanor, chivalry, utter desirability, sartorial elegance, valor, pluck, pride, daring, prowess, heroism, refinement, majesty, swordplay, horsemanship, talent for rescue, aversion to villainy, seraphic smile, and of course charm.” Charming is survived by his noble steed, Samson; his wife, Priscilla; and his brother, Prince Valiant.

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