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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.

Keys To The Matchup: Packers vs. Falcons

The NFC Championship Game pits the Atlanta Falcons against the Green Bay Packers for the rare chance to play a meaningful game in Houston. Onion Sports breaks down what each team must do to win.
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Broncos Offensive Line Hoping Uniforms Make Them Look Fat

DENVER—Shortly after being physically dominated in a 33-19 loss to the Chiefs, the Broncos' comparatively diminutive offensive line expressed fears Sunday that their uniforms made them appear insufficiently large to be imposing to defenses. "The dark pants we wear are just so slimming," said Broncos center Casey Wiegmann, adding that a fuller cut would help make their legs appear larger. "Perhaps if we had horizontal stripes running across them we would look more meaty. I really like our white 'away' tops, but no matter what pads and foundation garments we try, they're still too fitted. Not to mention such a hassle to get grass stains out of." 305-pound right tackle Erik Pears said he would continue to wear three jerseys, a mock turtleneck sweater, several pairs of pants, half a dozen wristbands, and two sets of shoulder pads in an effort to look more stylishly obese.

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Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

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