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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Broncos Quietly Bury Peyton Manning In Unmarked Grave Next To Stadium

DENVER—Standing solemnly next to the patch of ground where the veteran quarterback’s body lay, members of the Denver Broncos organization quietly buried Peyton Manning in an unmarked grave next to Sports Authority Field at Mile High, sources confirmed Thursday. “You were a good quarterback...and a good man,” Broncos general manager John Elway said as he shoveled the last bit of soil onto Manning’s grave, leaving only a small mound of dirt to signify the longtime NFL star’s final resting place near the stadium’s Gate 8 entrance. “We’ll never forget you. Rest well, old friend.” At press time, the Broncos released a statement ruling Manning out for the rest of the season with a reoccurrence of the plantar fascia injury in his left foot.

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