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‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

Man Born With Face You Just Want To Punch

In case you missed last night's premiere of the second season of "Onion News Network", watch Jean Anne Whorton's touching portrait of a man who was born with a god-awful, hateful face.

Ringo Starr Announces 26th Beatles Album With New Backing Band

‘Moonbeam Sunday’ Slated For Release On June 16

LONDON—Excitedly informing fans that the iconic pop group was back with more original music, Ringo Starr announced Tuesday that on June 16 he would be releasing a 26th Beatles album titled ‘Moonbeam Sunday’ with an all-new backing band.
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Bruce Springsteen On Fence About Playing Assad’s Birthday Gig

RUMSON, NJ­—Sources close to Bruce Springsteen confirmed yesterday that the rock legend continues to have mixed feelings about accepting an invitation to perform at Syrian president Bashar al-Assad’s upcoming 48th birthday party. “I mean, he’s a big fan, and the money’s good, so it’s a close call, ya know?” Springsteen reportedly said of the upcoming gig, in which the 63-year-old musician would be expected to play a 45-minute set with the The E Street Band at the Presidential Palace before al-Assad, his family, and several high-ranking military officers. “Besides, I kind of accepted over the phone when he asked, so the rest of the band is already over there right now. It sucks, but it might be the kind of thing where you just have to grit your teeth, go out there, and get it over with. Will it be my finest moment? No, but 200 grand is 200 grand.” Springsteen added that if he does ultimately decide to play the party, he’s thinking of opening with “Badlands” into “The Ties That Bind” and then closing with an extended jam on “Tenth Avenue Freeze-Out.”

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