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A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:

Man Either Sick Or Just At End Of Workday

CINCINNATI—Overwhelmed by a wave of fatigue, local man Will Markowski told reporters Tuesday that he was uncertain whether he was getting sick or if it was just the end of a normal workday.

A Timeline Of Abraham Lincoln’s Life

Every February, people across the the nation celebrate the legacy of Abraham Lincoln, widely considered to be one of America’s finest presidents. The Onion provides a timeline of the key moments in President Lincoln’s life:
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Bruce Vilanch Sodomized By Homosexual

HOLLYWOOD, CA–In an act "so heinous, it defies the imagination," famed awards-show joke writer and Hollywood Squares regular Bruce Vilanch was sodomized by an unnamed homosexual Monday. Authorities are still at a loss as to what could have motivated the homosexual–whom Vilanch met at a dinner party before accompanying him home–to commit the act. "How could anyone do such a thing?" asked Vilanch's distraught Hollywood Squares co-star Whoopi Goldberg. "What sort of inhuman monster could bring himself to do this?" Vilanch, who described himself as "perfectly fabulous" following the incident, told reporters: "I felt like Monica Lewinsky... at a cigar store!

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