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Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Strongside/Weakside: Ezekiel Elliott

After becoming only the third player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in his first nine games, Dallas Cowboys rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott is an early candidate for league MVP. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.

Strongside/Weakside: Kris Bryant

By leading the Chicago Cubs in hits and home runs en route to their second straight playoff appearance, Kris Bryant has placed himself in the running for the National League MVP. Is he any good?

Rest Of Nation To Penn State: ‘Something Is Very Wrong With All Of You’

WASHINGTON—Stating they felt deeply unnerved by the community’s unwavering and impassioned defense of a football program and administration that enabled child sexual abuse over the course of several decades, the rest of the country informed Penn State University Friday that there is clearly something very wrong with all of them.

Strongside/Weakside: Lamar Jackson

After passing for eight touchdowns and rushing for another 10 in just the first three weeks of the season, Louisville Cardinals sophomore quarterback Lamar Jackson has quickly become the frontrunner to win the Heisman Trophy. Is he any good?
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Bruins Sign Future Flyers All-Star To Three-Year Deal

BOSTON—The Bruins agreed to terms Monday with 2005 second-round draft pick Petr Kalus, signing him to a three-year contract that NHL insiders predict will be just long enough for Kalus to evolve into an All-Star-caliber player before his inevitable trade to the perennial playoff contender Philadelphia Flyers. The Czech Republic native will follow former Bruin greats Sergei Samsonov and Joe Thornton in continuing the tradition of Boston players who were traded immediately before their breakout season. "We look forward to obstructing Petr's development during his three frustrating years in Boston, although we certainly dread watching his much better career after he blossoms into the Flyers' top point scorer," Bruins interim GM Jeff Gorton said. "I wouldn't be surprised to see him score 30 goals in a season, many of them against us." Over his three years in Boston, Kalus is expected to endure a brief stint in the minors, be called up by the cellar-dwelling Bruins, battle a series of avoidable minor injuries, get traded for two draft picks and a player to be named later to Philadelphia, and begin his run at being named MVP in 2009, 2010, and 2013.

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