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‘The Princess Bride’ By The Numbers

‘The Princess Bride’ was released 30 years ago today, and it has since become a classic beloved by people of all ages. ‘The Onion’ looks back at ‘The Princess Bride’ 30 years later.

National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.
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Brutal Gang Rape Gives Screenplay More 'Punch'

HOLLYWOOD, CA–Screenwriter Justin Weichert "punched up" his screenplay for the action-suspense film Lethal Force, adding a brutal gang-rape scene, it was reported Monday. "The studio asked for a little more oomph, a little more edge," Weichert said of the added scene, in which the sister of lead character Jack Fist is brutally raped in an alley by Fist arch-enemy Ivan Petra and a band of the Russian drug lord's thugs. "So, to give Fist more motivation, I figured I'd put in a crime he'd definitely want revenge for. Only the sickest of freaks would fail to identify with the hero after seeing this rape scene." Weichert also noted that the scene calls for female nudity, which "has never hurt a film's box-office receipts."

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‘The Princess Bride’ By The Numbers

‘The Princess Bride’ was released 30 years ago today, and it has since become a classic beloved by people of all ages. ‘The Onion’ looks back at ‘The Princess Bride’ 30 years later.

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