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Buccaneers Inform Jeff Garcia That No Team Ever Wanted Him

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Kevin Durant Wins Gold In Men’s Individual Basketball

RIO DE JANEIRO—Beating out Serbian Nikola Jokic by .87 points in order to claim the all-around title, U.S. forward Kevin Durant won Olympic gold Friday in men’s individual basketball, becoming the first man to win consecutive golds in the competition since Gary Payton at the 1996 and 2000 Games.

Michael Phelps Spots Estranged Father Poseidon In Stands

RIO DE JANEIRO—Immediately recognizing the booming, thunderous voice he hadn’t heard since he was 5 years old as he warmed up ahead of his first heat in the 200-meter individual medley, U.S. Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps reportedly spotted his long-estranged father, Poseidon, God of the Sea, cheering for him Thursday in the stands of the Olympic Aquatics Stadium.
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Buccaneers Inform Jeff Garcia That No Team Ever Wanted Him

TAMPA BAY, FL—Shortly after ending a two-year relationship with Jeff Garcia Monday, the Buccaneers front office notified its former quarterback that no NFL organization had in fact ever wanted or needed the 38-year-old. "It was hard to see that look on his face, but he needed to learn that no team—not even the Bears—could imagine a future with him," said owner Malcolm Glazer. "We were only stuck with Jeff for this long because nobody better was available." Glazer, who said the decision to make a clean break came after consideration of Garcia's arm strength, height, freckles, and male pattern baldness, admitted the Buccaneers only pursued the quarterback to see if it made other free agents interested in the team.

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