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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Buccaneers Inform Jeff Garcia That No Team Ever Wanted Him

TAMPA BAY, FL—Shortly after ending a two-year relationship with Jeff Garcia Monday, the Buccaneers front office notified its former quarterback that no NFL organization had in fact ever wanted or needed the 38-year-old. "It was hard to see that look on his face, but he needed to learn that no team—not even the Bears—could imagine a future with him," said owner Malcolm Glazer. "We were only stuck with Jeff for this long because nobody better was available." Glazer, who said the decision to make a clean break came after consideration of Garcia's arm strength, height, freckles, and male pattern baldness, admitted the Buccaneers only pursued the quarterback to see if it made other free agents interested in the team.

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