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A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:

Man Either Sick Or Just At End Of Workday

CINCINNATI—Overwhelmed by a wave of fatigue, local man Will Markowski told reporters Tuesday that he was uncertain whether he was getting sick or if it was just the end of a normal workday.
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Bumper Nilla Crop Spells Profit For Wafer Growers

HENLY, TX—Unusually warm temperatures, regular rainfall, and innovative agricultural techniques have resulted in the third-straight record Nilla harvest, the nation's Nilla farmers report. "It's a great time to be in the cookie business," said Eugene Jesperson, shortbread magnate and three-time recipient of the Postprandial Society's Golden-Brown Medal For Excellence, during a tour of his 50,000-acre Nilla orchards Tuesday. "I haven't seen the Nilla this thick on the vine since I was a kid, and the Nilla weevils have left us alone for a while now." The bumper crop is a rare spot of good news for America's flavoring growers, who have been plagued in recent years by cinnablight, choc-o-mold, and crumb fungus.

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