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What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.

Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
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Bunch Of Numbers From Where Daddy Works Means No Trip To Disney World

RED OAK, MI—Six-year-old Kevin Bligh confirmed Friday that the papers Daddy brings home from work with all the numbers on them mean there will be no trip to Disney World this year after all. “The numbers are mean because they make Daddy sad sometimes,” said Bligh, who drew a picture of a crying Mickey Mouse and an angry Daddy, who was holding up a paper with red-colored numbers on them. “And Mommy and Daddy always wave the number papers around when they’re yelling. Sometimes Daddy just sits at the kitchen table and stares at the numbers while he drinks from his brown bottle.” Although the first-grader told reporters that Daddy hugs him tightly at bedtime and promises everything’s going to be all right, Bligh said he’s pretty sure Daddy is lying to him.

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