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Mom In Nightgown Mode

APPLETON, WI—Noting that the changeover occurred “right on schedule” after she had finished the dishes and watched TV for an hour or two, family sources confirmed Monday night that local mom Linda Rampling had officially transitioned into nightgown mode.

Car Rolls Up To Stoplight Blasting Google Maps Directions

HOUSTON—Attracting the attention of adjacent motorists and nearby pedestrians who turned their heads to see where the booming noise was coming from, a 2006 Ford Focus is said to have rolled up to a local stoplight Friday blaring Google Maps directions.

34-Year-Old Asks For Big Piece

MADISON, WI—Directing the server to the large square in the corner, local 34-year-old Matthew Hinke asked for a big piece of cake during a workplace birthday party, sources confirmed Tuesday.
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Buoyant Force On Area Object Equal To Weight Of Water Displaced

BROWNSVILLE, AR—An area object partially immersed in a liquid was buoyed upward Tuesday by a force equal to the weight of the liquid displaced by that object, witnesses at the scene reported. According to sources, opposing forces acted against gravity during the displacement. In addition, though the object reportedly seemed lighter, it only appeared weightless due to the fact that the density of the liquid surrounding it was only slightly greater than that of the object. As of press time, the object is still maintaining positive buoyancy.

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