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What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.

Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
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Burned-Out Coffee-Shop Employee Just Lets Paul Simon Play For Fifth Time

PORTLAND, OR—Exhausted and beyond the point of caring what music she listens to while working, 22-year-old Espresso Royale Cafe employee Jennifer Bergstrom let Paul Simon's Graceland repeat in the coffee shop's CD player for a fifth time Monday. "I've already heard 'The Boy In The Bubble' four times today," Bergstrom said. "Would hearing Paul Simon sing, 'These are the days of miracle and wonder, this is a long-distance call,' one more damn time honestly make any difference at this point?" During her 10-hour shift, Bergstrom also listened to Natalie Merchant's Tigerlily three times and a Putumayo world-music compilation twice.

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