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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Bus Passenger Stops Trying To Enjoy Kansas Scenery

WALKER, KS–After several hundred miles of trying, Greyhound bus passenger Ed Costa finally aborted his attempt to enjoy the Kansas scenery Monday. "Fuck it," said Costa, turning his head from the window somewhere around Walker. "I've tried and tried to derive aesthetic pleasure from the view along I-70, but it's nothing but flat land as far as the eye can see." Costa said he was hoping to see "a hill that was even slightly rolling," but no luck.

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