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Politics

Robert Mueller Driving SUV 100 MPH Down Runway As Air Force One Narrowly Lifts Off

PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY, MD—Sending a pair of guards scrambling for safety as he gunned his black SUV through a chain-link gate and onto the tarmac, Robert Mueller, the former FBI director who was recently tapped to lead the ongoing investigation into the Trump campaign’s ties to Russia, chased Air Force One down the runway at Joint Base Andrews moments before takeoff, sources reported Tuesday.

Trump Asks Entire Senate To Clear Out Of Chamber So He Can Speak To Comey Alone

WASHINGTON—Entering through a side door and bidding the assembled legislators, congressional aides, and members of the media to give him a moment with the former FBI director, President Donald Trump reportedly asked the entire Senate to clear the chamber during James Comey’s testimony Thursday so he could speak to him alone.

A Timeline Of The Watergate Scandal

With the White House mired in controversy, comparisons to Washington’s most famous scandal have been common, if not always accurate. Forty-five years after the events leading to Nixon’s resignation, The Onion presents a detailed timeline of the Watergate scandal.
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Bush Asks Advice For This Friend Of His Who Invaded Iraq

WASHINGTON—President George W. Bush has reportedly been soliciting advice from White House aides for a friend of his who ordered military forces to invade Iraq in 2003, sources said Wednesday. According to aides, Bush described his friend as a little taller than himself, a great guy when you get to know him, the president of a country, and somebody who's in a "really tough spot right now." "[Bush] told me that if I had any ideas about how his friend's military could withdraw from the region while keeping his nation's dignity intact and maintaining some semblance of victory, that I should let him know so he could give the message to his friend," said an aide who wished to remain anonymous. "When I asked him if this 'friend' of his was worried about his legacy, the president said he didn't know what I was talking about and walked away." Bush was later overheard asking a female White House aide what she would do if she found herself suddenly and uncontrollably attracted to ABC News political analyst George Stephanopoulos.

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