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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.
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Bush Celebrates Millionth Utterance Of 'Lessons Of Sept. 11'

NEW YORK (Sept. 3)—The already jubilant mood of the Republican National Convention was given a further boost Thursday night when, during his closing address at Madison Square Garden, President Bush uttered the phrase "the lessons of Sept. 11" for the one-millionth time. "The American people have risen to the challenges of the past three years, working tirelessly to ensure that the world will never forget...the lessons of Sept. 11," Bush said and outstretched his arms as balloons and confetti rained down on the delegates, whose deafening cheers lasted nearly five minutes. To make the event possible, Bush crammed hundreds of references to the "lessons of Sept. 11" into campaign speeches during the days leading up to the speech, sometimes simply chanting the four words repeatedly for several minutes.

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