Bush Lets War Widow Punch His Arm Once

Top Headlines

Recent News

City Adds Some Big Concrete Stairs

They’re For Sitting On Or Running Up Or Something

CHICAGO—Noting the structure’s considerable size and prominent location in a busy public park, local residents confirmed Tuesday that the city had installed some big concrete stairs that were probably for sitting on or running up or something like that.

How Democrats Are Preparing For Their First Debate

The first Democratic presidential debate will be held Tuesday, and the candidates are expected to battle it out over issues as wide-ranging as gun control, climate change, and wealth inequality in America. Here’s how the candidates are preparing for the debate
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage


Real Estate

Bush Lets War Widow Punch His Arm Once

WASHINGTON—In an unprecedented gesture of apology, President Bush allowed widow Mary Holt, 32, to punch him once on the left arm Monday as retribution for the death of her husband, Marine Pfc. David Holt, who was killed in a 2007 roadside bomb explosion outside Fallujah. "President Bush cares very deeply about the families of our fallen heroes," said White House Press Secretary Dana Perino, who later explained the stipulations of the punch, which included no monkey bubbles or taking a running start. "The president gladly would have let Mrs. Holt punch his favored right arm if it didn't still sting from when little Abigail Pritchard give him a five-second Indian burn for her grandmother being killed in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina." After delivering the blow, Holt reportedly sustained massive internal hemorrhaging when five Secret Service agents tackled the grieving widow to the ground.