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Politics

Trump: ‘I Am A Very Stupid Human Being’

WASHINGTON—Responding to a damning ‘Washington Post’ report alleging he had shared highly classified information with Russian officials, President Donald Trump addressed the concerns of the press, his fellow government officials, and the public at large Tuesday by announcing that he was an incredibly stupid human being.

Escalating Tensions Lead Trump To Shake Up Inner Circle Of TV Programs

WASHINGTON—Saying the decision arose out of the necessity to weed out certain key members whose values no longer aligned with the president’s, White House spokesman Sean Spicer told reporters Thursday that escalating tensions have led President Trump to shake up his inner circle of television programs.

Bill O’Reilly Tearfully Packs Up Framed Up-Skirt Photos From Desk

NEW YORK—Smiling wistfully as he gazed at the cherished mementos that had sat on his desk for much of the past 20 years, former Fox News commentator Bill O’Reilly reportedly grew teary-eyed Thursday as he packed up the framed up-skirt photos from his work space following his termination by the cable channel.
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Bush Quietly Rolls Back Iraq Death Toll To Zero

BAGHDAD—Nearly two weeks after President Bush's surprise visit to Iraq, the first American combat death in the region has occurred, military sources revealed Monday. "I could have sworn that almost 2,500 American servicemen and women had sacrificed their lives in this theater of operation, but the death toll counter here in my office read 'zero' this morning, and that's what we go by," said Gen. George W. Casey Jr., commander of U.S. forces in Iraq, after announcing the casualty, which took place outside Fallujah on Sunday. "No one's been in the room but myself and the president, so I guess I was mistaken. Which is a relief." The soldier whose death marked the tragic milestone, Army Spc. Jason Hopkinson of Butte, MT, will be memorialized with a monument in Arlington National Cemetery, next to the 2003 monument commemorating the previous first American to die in Iraq.

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Escalating Tensions Lead Trump To Shake Up Inner Circle Of TV Programs

WASHINGTON—Saying the decision arose out of the necessity to weed out certain key members whose values no longer aligned with the president’s, White House spokesman Sean Spicer told reporters Thursday that escalating tensions have led President Trump to shake up his inner circle of television programs.

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